Kena BANG then kena CON =(

Ever notice how most guys like to be READY (Selalu Sedia wtf) and ON THE GO and tend to watch oncoming traffic at a junction/roundabout INSTEAD of the car in front of them?

Like this faceless guy here, who is totally not looking at the purple car in front of him.

Me? I never bother looking at the oncoming traffic as long as there’s still a car in front of me. Developed this habit after hearing many many many stories of how people ter-bang the car in front of them because they assumed the driver in front has telepathy and will move their ass at will.

And after the crash, they will curse the other driver and call him LEMBAP!

Was on my way home from work when I discovered I am one of those lembap drivers.

Don’t recall exactly when this was, around 2 weeks ago I think.

There I was, at the junction, waiting for the car in front of me to turn out into the main road.

After he managed to squeeze through traffic, I slowly made my way to the edge of the road, saw an oncoming bird/plane/Superman/Pajero, decided not to die and stepped on the brakes.

Something like this lah. Bird/plane/Superman/Pajero in blue. I’m the pink car of course.

And of course, the bugger behind me ran straight into my ass.

When we got down to gaduh, the bugger berani say that it was my fault because I “suddenly brake“.

Excuse me!!!! Even if I “sudden brake” when I was moving at like 10km/hr, I’m sure any moron would have a fast enough mental capacity to also sudden brake right! Unless:
a. He’s a retard.
b. He was sticking to my ass.
c. He was NOT LOOKING AT MY CAR.

So anyhuu, after that he told me to calm down and stop yelling at him and conned me into accepting RM100 in compensation.

Which shows how much of a retard I am as well. So now I’m lembap and a retard. How sad.

My kangaroo bar was gone-case, so I got the MAN to do the huffing and puffing and unscrewing for me.

In the dark, no less.

I helped hold the flashlights! Not in this pic tho, busy snapping photos.

And one kangaroo bar less, this is how my poor SLK’s backside looks now:

At first he gave me his number and seemed quite willing to pay whatever balance was necessary to fix my car.

But after I told him that it would cost RM280, he started the whole tale about how it was my fault cause I “sudden brake”.

Cibai.

How also you bang my backside, you pay lar!!!!

Only thing is I don’t really know much about him, so I can’t exactly drag him to court (lembap and dunggu, cannot save lah me).

Jessica Simpson + Paris Hilton aka the Dumbest Blonde on Earth.

These are the details I have of him so far:

English name: Francis.
Brother’s name: Law Wai Keong (gave me his brother’s name card wtf)
Email: lwlik_1991@hotmail.com

Thus the sleuth in me deduces that his full name is Francis Law Wai Lik and he is 19 years old (still got the P sticker on his car samo).

Sent him photos of the damage so he can assess if I’m indeed trying to con him. As if I got nothing better to do than to try and squeeze you for money.

Haih. Damn swei.