Tired oh so tired…

Did not sleep throughout the night, and had to get up at 6am to go for my stupid redundant interview with the stupid Suruhanjaya Perkhidmatan Awam. Only because the almighty Malaysian government insists on harnessing the self-obtained intelligence of medical professionals (doctors, pharmacists, dentists) by enslaving us for 4 years sigh.

Yah, so anyway a big THANK YOU goes out to Alfred for fetching me all the way there and back, cause I’m simply hopeless when it comes to driving outside of Subang.

Everyone was pretty nervous about the interview cause they insist on throwing random general-knowledge-based questions at us and I simply refused to “study” for the interview beforehand cause I think it’s a pieceofshit.

[I did look up the structure of the Parliament tho][As in how many people in the dewan la, I don’t mean the building got how many floors and toilets blablabla wtf]

But at moments like this, I thank god for blessing me with the gift of gab.

For one thing, I ended up talking so much the interviewers didn’t even have enough time to ask me certain compulsory questions, like about current issues in Malaysia, drug-related questions or even if I was willing to go work in East Malaysia!!

[Not sure if this is a good thing; hope they don’t assume I can escape from crocodiles by talking til the crocs flee in terror wtf]

And the uncle interviewer even said, I quote: Your BM is very good!

I guess years of haggling with pasar malam vendors does have its benefits.

Anyway, yeah I talk damn a lot as if no one knows this already, and at points I even felt damn annoyed at the uncle interviewer cause he kept interrupting so I couldn’t finish what I wanted to say ish.

The aunty interviewer said, I quote: You give me the impression that you are very confident. That’s very good.

Heh. I guess being bossy and garang isn’t all that bad either (unlike what the ex-bfs say =p).

[Eh eh not trying to boast ok! Just damn happy cause I was very nervous about the interview]

And to show you how ulu the place was, here’s a picture taken at the rundown nearby “mamak”:

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Exactly!!! Got chickens running around freely ok!!! We saw a group of monkeys crossing the road too ish. It’s literally IN A JUNGLE cause it’s right beside the Taman Rama-Rama and we even saw lots of aunties in hot pants jogging and jiggling their asses hoho.

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Apparently, the squiggly arrow below means that the building is directly to your right ish:

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After the interview, I went to watch Death Race (I rate it a 6/10) with Alfred at the Gardens. So ngam Shirlyn was about to watch a movie there too, and she called to ask me for some inane tips:

Shirlyn: Eh, how to operate the Osim chair ah??
Me: Erm, you just lean back also the chair will go behind wan.
Shirlyn: Then how to use the massager all? Can vibrate wan rite?

O.M.G.

I guess it’s kinda my fault, cause in a bid to describe GSC Signature, I told her that the seats were like Osim chairs. And she took my words literally -_-

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Sorry la, this one Premier class only. I forgot only Gold class got the Osim-ish chairs. Minus massagers heh.

On the way home, it was drizzling and a lot of accidents were happening.

And then hor….

When Alfred was turning out of a junction, a taxi suddenly swerved towards his car and drove past damn fast. Then the cibai taxi driver parked his car by the side of the road and came down to check his car.

And then he did a piece of acting worthy of an Oscar.

He quickly drove beside us, winded down his window and shouted:

OI!!! Ini sudah langgar mau lagak tak ada apa-apa pigi saje la!!! Saya lampu depan sudah pecah!

Wah, that time my blood started to boil already.

I terus winded down my window and shouted at him:

Mana ada langgar!! Jangan cuba nak tipu kita la! Oi you ingat kita bodoh ka!??!!

Wah I tell you, if can I wanted to go down and kick down his door and beat him up lo. But cannot la, since I’m only like 45kg and he’s this rough Indian taxi driver (altho at that point I was definitely more cho lo than him la heh).

Stupid!!! No brain wan izzit?!!! Wanna bluff also bluff something that makes sense can or not??!

If we bang you, do you think we cannot feel any impact ah? Samo if really langgar we would have gone down to check Alfred’s car la! Babi you sendiri drive like madass towards Alfred’s car, our fault now izzit???

GARGARGARGARGARGAR DAMN ANGRY!

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Anyway Alfred’s car lights were functioning properly, and using common sense which I am very sure HE DOES NOT POSSESS it is imposible for us to knock out his car lights AT THAT ANGLE like that without a heavy impact and kemeking the front of Alfred’s own car first la. There wasn’t even a scratch on Alfred’s car ok!!!

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But I really wished we had some kinda thingamagic which could really knock his lights out. Then I’ll laugh all the way home cause he memang padan muka ok.

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After he realised I was damn garang, he was like “Oh you sudah langgar saya tak mau mengaku, sekarang saya langgar kamu balik la!

But Alfred just vroomvroom and left him choking on exhaust fumes heh.

My Lilin Bilin

First of all, just to make things clear, I know the title sounds damn les but I am not les ok.

I’ve just been spending a lot of time with Lynn lately, since I haven’t seen her for ages (tak jadi meet up in UK also huuhuu~) dahlah she’ll be flying back to the UK on the 9th of Sept.

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What I’ve come to realise is that despite our stupid fallout back in high school and not having really kept in touch for so long, we still have this bond of friendship that makes things seem as though we never said goodbye in the first place.

Talking to her feels so comfortable and comforting it’s like she’s the sister I never had. And all our childish antics somehow make me feel as though years have not passed since high school. As though we are still 16 going on 17, making the teachers at school cry in frustration and scream in rage (hoho).

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I suppose not that many years have passed, but so many things have happened within those few years and so many experiences now differ our pasts.

For what it’s worth, I think you’ve grown into this stunning, strong woman and I’m so proud to still be nurturing this friendship that we have. And I am so sorry for all the stupid things I did back when I didn’t realise how much I really treasured our friendship.

I’ll miss you terribly when you leave, but here’s to our 11th year of friendship and the many more to come.

I can’t find the Paris version with the moustache.
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Kin Hung, Yenli, Yun, Lynn, Jun Ken and I @ Sunway Lagoon, Form 4.
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Cris’ amazing photography skillz.
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Yun, Cris, Shun, Yenli, me and Lynn supposedly learning squash.
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Yenli, Shun, me, Yun, Cris, Lynn @ Lakeview.
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Yenli pretending to serve beer to Keegan, back when drinking was still a big NO-NO. Dear Keegan, may you rest in peace T_T
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Yenli, Lynn, Yun, Cris, me and Shun right before we got scolded by the Dragon Toilet Lady.
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Autographed photo of Ong Beng Hee’s billboard.
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Only Pandu Puteri’s line is straight!! Teehee~ St. John and Puteri Islam are about to collide!
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Back in the day when we were kononnye active Girl Guides.
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Keat Heng’s 17th birthday.
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Can’t remember what this was for, but look at Yenli’s signature at the upper left corner haha kena criss-crossed out. And she signed again at the bottom left corner.
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Stupid Kin Hung’s artwork. No that is not my mouth!
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Stupid Kin Hung.
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Convocation August 2008

Actually this is like the third time I’m convocating, cause we already had one before we left for UK and one in UK but dunno why IMU damn like to convocate their students so whatever lar.

At IMU for some briefing which was a stupid waste of time GRRRR!
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And IMU is so cheapskate that they’ve resorted to hiring like 50% of the academic staff from India. As if our syllabus isn’t confusing enough, now the students gotta learn how to understand Indian accents ish.

The Indian lecturer in charge of giving us the briefing showed us the layout of the ballroom on the OHP and this proved to be the source of much confusion and amusement (photo damn blur sorry).

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Student: Sir, where we sit??
Indian man: Here here *points to “grand-aunt”*
Everyone: OOoOOooOo!!
Student: Sir, where my grand-uncle sit??

heh.

It’s damn embarrassing ok ish graduant oso dunno how to spell!

On the day of our convo we were supposed to reach Sheraton Subang by 7am altho the ceremony itself starts at 10pm dammit la idiot lecturers. So I coerced my kaki to have breakfast at the mamak opposite Sheraton.

Shirlyn got halo chewah.
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And when we finally arrived everyone told us that the lecturers were really angry cause they took attendance and we were the only people missing haha.

Was damn happy cause Yun and SK came to see me and bring me this gorgeous bouquet of flowers =)))
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SAM classmates (minus SK). Yun and SK look damn off haha dunno why everyday oso have to wear same colour baju.
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The ceremony was damn boring and I was damn sleepy and tired and cranky.

Hardly took any photos after the ceremony, except for a family portrait.

Don’t care lah. Third time around no feel already.

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Off to bed, toodles.

Ministry of Sound’s Euphoria

Since Lilin Bilin and her angmoh bf were back from a week of climbing moutains, crawling through caves and fighting off leeches at Taman Negara, we made plans for another night out. This time, we went to the new club Euphoria aka MOS at Sunway Resort Hotel.

Euphoria has been getting a lot of bad reviews from the clubbing community because apparently the crowd there is darn sparse. According to the fags, it’s cause Euphoria doesn’t allow smoking in the club. But I suspect it’s due to the exorbitant prices they charge for the drinks – One bottle of liquour will set you back about RM400++ and it only covers 3 people. That’s like over a hundred bucks per person!

Tetek ku dicensor wtf.
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This Lam Shun Chin was seriously excited about tonight, and she kept telling us that we had to be there by 9.30pm cause kononnye Ladies Nite was only until 10.30pm and there’s like this longass queue to enter.

Sad to say she was misinformed.

When we got there, the whole club was like ZZzzZZZzzzzZzzz seriously damn dead ok! But yalah it was only 10pm la so kinda faham-faham also la.

First photo of the night, taken by a bouncer.
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The bouncer also took a photo of us with his own camera and said that the photo was going up on Euphoria’s website. Dunno if he was just bullshitting, but do tell me if you actually see our pic there!

Jakuning around.
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We were there damn early ok!! So we just sat around the “Deq” (Deck) sipping our free drinks – Gin + Sprite. Cb gin tastes like perfume ok! Can’t they like at least give us vodka mix or something better ish.

Karen & Shun.
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Lilin Bilin today wear not so sexy (but still can see a bit HOHOHO).
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Mua.
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I must say that Euphoria is like the coolest club I’ve been to. The dance floor is pretty spacious and literally vibrates according to the bass (mmmm orgasmic!), the toilets rival that of a hotel (no sign of any puke whatsoever) and everything is just SO orderly and clean!

Seriously, the owner must be damn OCD lor! Like when Lynn put her feet on the table the bouncer immediately shone his flashlight at her and some kalafeh worker came and wiped the table!! Waaaaa! Tis is me home! =)

The transparent glass bridge. I swear I was terrified up there!
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After finishing our drinks, we went back to the dance floor and OMG I swear there was NOT ONE SINGLE PERSON on it!!! Sure, loads of people were already starting to enter the club, but everyone was just stoning away at their tables. Too shy to be the first on the floor, I presume.

Nebermind. We is not shy ppl.

Yah, so the four of us went onto the dance floor and started shaking our booties.

And people actually cheered for us!!! Wah damn bangga sial haha.

Right after that, more and more people started coming down to the floor until it got really packed. So much so we kept getting knocked about by tall niggas and omg it was infuriating!

High heels suck.
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While we were dancing I noticed 2 guys dancing with each other, looking pretty gay (haha). After some time, one of them asked Lynn if they could join us but I immediately halau-ed him and told Lynn “Fucking nerds” hahaha. Like omg how can TWO GUYS go clubbing together ish!

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There’s actually water running down the panels behind us but you can’t see it in the pic.
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I know, I know. Damn mengada la we all.

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Sigh, I guess I’m the worst camerawoman.
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While I was taking this pic a guy behind me actually shouted “Camwhore!” omg damn rude ok!
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Actually as a non-smoker I was damn happy about the no smoking rule in the club lor. My hair was left un-ciggy-smelling and my contacts didn’t hurt and make my eyes all scary and red.

If you’re wondering why all the pics look so foggy, it’s not cause of ciggy smoke. It’s just their fog-making-machine thingy. At one point, we were dancing beside the fog-making-machine and everytime it admitted fog we started poking each other randomly HAHA cause the fog was so thick we couldn’t see who poked us. Needless to say the main target of our attacks was Lilin’s bossom haha.

I like this photo cause of that snowflake-looking thing on Lilin’s neck. And also cause Robin looks dumb bwahaha.
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The most potong stim thing about tonight was that the music sucked. Bad.

Seriously, I would have paid somebody to shoot the DJ, except that he was rather hensem, so I tak sampai hati lah.

By 2am we were so fedup with the weird feng-tao-ized music that we decided to just fuck it and go home.

It’s really sad, actually, that Euphoria has everything right but the music. Oh well, I guess that’s just how the Ministry likes their music. Will probably not be going back there anytime soon.

Fatass Ah Fat

I’ve been staying at home for 3 days now, and boy does it get borrrrrring!

The trouble with being home so much is that I sleep 12 hours a day (yah, 50% ok), eat my “breakfast” at 6pm, my “lunch” at 3am and skip “dinner” altogether. If things continue this way, I’m bound to wither into the malnourished anorexic version of me in a month or so. And that’s not too far away, mind you.

Which is exactly the reasoning I gave my parents for going out so often.

Not to shop, not to lepak, but to EAT wtf.

Yeah, my parents actually bought it and my dad even gave me 300 bucks wtf. Enough to delay anorexia by a few weeks I guess.

The thing is, getting overweight wouldn’t be very appetising either, seeing that my (already small) head would probably look like the tip of a condom.

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Hmmm… Not very pretty yah?

Right before landing back home in Bolehland, I tipped the scales at 46kg. Not exactly the ideal weight for my height, but I was already toot-ting party tooters noisemakers with my fart gas cause for the first time in my life I actually qualified for blood donation!!! heh.

Not that I actually wanted to donate blood or anything (I fear syringes!).

At 46kg I could actually pass the first line of defense of blood donating protocols – The weighing scales!! Up til now, I have never even had the chance to have my blood group tested cause those buggers always always place a weighing scale in front of the registration table KNN! (Min weight is 45kg btw)

Anyhuu, judging by my current weight, height and the size of my head, I estimate my optimal weight for achieving HOT HOOCHIE MOMMA status to be approximately 50kg. It kinda sounds heavy, but maybe I have solid bones or a bigass brain or something, cause right now at 46kg I still look all twiggy like this:

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I only hope I’m not the type who only gets fat after giving birth!! Cause lord help me if I start getting munchie cravings while I’m pregnant and end up looking like this fatass when I’m 30 years old:

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[In case you’re a new reader who’s just scrolling through my post, this is not, I repeat, THIS IS NOT how I really look like. Pls refer to photo above for the real 46kg skinny me.

(Haiya you never know what people might think lar. Cause like who the hell would wanna make themselves look fatter right)]

Gee, but if I ever do indeed grow to that size after getting the munchie cravings, I hope my hubby would still love me, condom head and all =)

PS: This is in no way meant to piss off you girls. I just think I should never weigh more that 50kgs cause my head would look like the tip of a condom (refer above).
PPS: Lilin said I can’t donate blood anyways cause they don’t accept blood from peeps who’ve been overseas for over a month or a year or something Huu~ =(
PPPS: Must. Get. Out. Of. House.

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Edited a photo of Yun cause I really wanna see what she would look like with heavier eyeliner. I think she just looks soooo much prettier cause it makes her eyes look bigger. But of course, her stupid bf (guy with emo hair in photo) won’t allow her to use that much makeup. tee~ Being a BFF can be so hard when a boy comes into the picture!

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No lar, just kidding. I *love* SK. Especially since he calls me Ah Fat wtf.

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Malaysia kalah teruk in badminton. Both rounds punya points add up can’t even reach 21 points.

Why why Malay-sai kanasai??! T___T
(Eh why the mouth broken up like that… look like teeth haha!)

Lookout Point + Some random stuff

Yun and SK brought us to Lookout Point for dinner on Friday. It was my first time there, and I was quite surprised that it was located in such an ulu, hard to find (turn left turn right turn my backside) place. I think the bimbotic part of me expected it to be like right beside the highway or something.

Haiya Subang also beside a highway what, why can’t Lookout Point be beside Kesas?

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Alfred and SK were trying to make me look short and Alfred was even like “Eh actually I just realised you’re damn short after seeing all our pictures” WTF! No I am not short ok babi hutan kalimantan! All of you are guys so of course I’m gonna be shorter than you all lar!

No but actually I was wearing like 3 inch heels in this pic lah. heh.

The food there was surprisingly cheap. I guess they can’t really charge that much for the food since we already spent so much on petrol driving up the hill.

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The view from the top of the little lookout tower was quite pretty. Reminded me of the view we got from atop Mount Tibidabo in Barcelona, Spain. Except that from here we could see the KL Tower and KLCC instead of Sagrada Familia and that condom-shaped building in Barcelona wtf.

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Can’t really see much from the crappy pictures tho =(((

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So since nobody was interested in camwhoring with me, we stood there talking rubbish for awhile.

Yun: *Checks out my super cute shoes*
Me: Oh I buy from UK wan.
SK: Eh I heard shoes from UK if you drop down from up here also won’t spoil wan!
Alfred: Izzit? I heard shoes from UK if you throw they will fly back to you wan leh.
SK: Really ah? Let’s try la. I throw one you throw one.
Alfred: Eh I heard people who come back from UK also can fly wan leh!
SK: Really ah? OK let’s try to throw her!

Wtf.

OK on to random stuff.

I just watched Wall.E and omg I think he’s so cute lar!

I know some people find it tiresome after some time cause it kinda goes into too much detail as to his actions and quirky ways, but I personally loved all the details! After all, these little touches are what make him so endearing!

So funny lar when he dug into the ground to hide himself HAHAHAHAHA!! Ok shall not spoil story.

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This is how a bowl of coleslaw looks like in Shakey’s Pizza. Boy, that was definitely the worse lunch I’ve had in a long time. So remember ya, don’t ever venture into Shakey’s unless you actually like your food being served in rotten bowls like that.

And lastly,

I was trying to get my obese turtle to swim a little but it just sank to the bottom and refused to move. Babi it didn’t even bother swimming to the surface to breathe cause it has like this super long neck which can reach the surface ish.

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Now I’m not sure whether it’s actually supposed to be on water or on land =(

Ah Chin’s 22nd Birthday

*Clap Clap* Miss Lam Shun Chin turned 22 years of age on the 14th of August.

We had a pretty bad (but absolutely predictable) start to the night with Shun being one full hour late. And because we were supposed to pick her up from her house, all of us got trapped there, waiting for her to get ready. For ONE HOUR my god!

So anyway, after Lilin Bilin successfully managed to stick Shun’s new Drama Mama false eyelashes on for her, we kicked her into her clothes, kicked her down the stairs and kicked her into the car.

And off we went, to Rakuzen in SS15 for her birthday dinner.

Like, check out her falsies!!! Super Drama Mama sial!
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Oh hey, I just realised I totally forgot to photoshop the pics. But I shall be lazy and just ignore them pimples and flash overexposures.

Robilin (YES I am clever wtf)
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Lynn, Me, Shun, Yun *muah muah* (Yah my dress is poofed like that so I can eat more without having to worry about a bulging waistline)
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I bought my dress from Cat’s Whiskers in SS15 for only like RM65 which is like 10pounds wtf damn cheap ok!

Anyhuu, after stuffing ourselves silly (to cheers of “Ah Fat Ah Fat eat so much really Ah Fat!!” cause the set I ordered was like damn big but I managed to finish it on my own *clapclap*), the waitresses took like 10 minutes to bring out the cake which was damn potong stim cause it totally took away the surprise factor. But anyway Shun damn blur so maybe she didn’t notice the waitresses distributing small plates or me taking my camera out or the waitress holding the cake by the door wtf.

Very yummy cake thanks to Yun and SSK (Stupid Shiu Kao) from RT House in SS15.
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Why do people always look much happier in candid photos?
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People I love.
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And because we’re just so damn happening wtf, we headed up to Luna Bar KL where a friend of Robin’s was celebrating his 21st birthday.

[His friend is Eric, who happens to be quite cute but HOHO he’s one year younger than me sigh =(]

Camwhoring in the car.
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[There’s this song called “Sweetest Girl” which has like the dumbest lyrics I’ve ever heard!!! “Pimpin’s getting harder cause the ho’s are gettin smarter” WTF! “Gotta steal the dollar if you gotta pay the bill” WTFWTF!!]

Uh huh, we have 5 people in the car.
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So anyway, due to unforseen circumstances, we only reached Luna at midnight, and since they close by 1 (which is TOO EARLY LAH WTHHHH T_T), it was a mad rush to order our drinks and camwhore around the pool. We didn’t even actually have time to sit down and chat/mingle with Eric all the beautiful people there.

We bought not ONE but TWO Flaming Lamborghinis for our birthday girl!
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Her friends Ame and Karen met up with us at Luna (the same people we went to Zouk with).
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I think the cocktails at Luna Bar aren’t all that great cause the alcohol content was so low I couldn’t feel the slightest kick!! Dunno why lah. Or maybe the stupid bartender was trying to cheat us. Even their Flaming Lamborghini was actually in flames for like only 5 seconds.

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Aih, how romantic!
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Lilin pretending to be a well-endowed Popeye. Eh I seriously love her dress lah damn cute ok!!
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In the lift wtf.
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I really loved the place, with the calming pool and kinda spectacular view of KL but haiya damn potong stim lar when the bar closed. Since we were already in KL and it was Ladies Nite, we continued the party at Bar Club along Heritage Row.

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The only reason we chose Bar Club was because they didn’t charge a cover fee for the guys. But we soon found out why this was so.

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Apparently Thursday is Trance Night in Bar Club and my gawd, how do people actually dance to that kind of music??? To make it worse, yesterday happened to be the day Taoists pray for the Ghost Festival so yeah, the club was totally devoid of all Chinese people.

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The club was so empty we could actually see from one end right through to the opposite end!! But because Shun is quite the Dance Desperado, she forced all of us to get on the dance floor to watch her shake her booty to trance music wtf. We got embarassed after awhile and went back to our seats.

Where she continued dancing. While seated. Wtf.
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Talk about one drunk birthday girl!

After we got out of the club, we headed to the nearest mamak along Heritage Row.

And surprise surprise
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She actually started puking right beside our table, and then Lilin and I brought her to the closed mamak stall next door to continue puking.

Yah, she puked damn 9 a lot ok!

After she had puked to her heart’s stomach’s content, we called for the bill and got a different kind of surprise.

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“Eh bang, ini add-on apa??”

“Oh, itu muntah punya charge. Biasa punya la sini”

Like WTF how can you charge us frigging 10 bucks just cause she vomitted???? Yah, I’m sure the pail of water you used to wash her puke away costs 10 bucks rite??? GAR damn angry lor!! I totally understand that they gotta find some kind of way to make money or stop drunk people from randomly vomitting around the mamak (since we are in a clubbing area) but omg RM10 is just too much ok!

Yah, and apparently vomiting DOES NOT encourage Shun to be quiet cause she started blabbering nonsense all the way home.

But cleber Lynn and I discovered a surefire way to get her to shut up: Just keep talking and don’t let her interupt!

I think it’s cause our voices are so loud they drown her’s out BWAHAHAHAA!

Anyway Shun if you’re reading this I love you! heh.

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